You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm always down for nudity.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
