And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
