Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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