If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
