Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
