I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
