Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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