Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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