I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
