made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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