Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
