Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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