R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
