BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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