I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
