it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
