It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
