i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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