HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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