Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
