I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
