yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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