I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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