So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
