Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
