Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
