You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
