oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
