Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
