love makes seman taste better
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
