Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
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