he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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