Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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