I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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