I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
