Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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