If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
