she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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