real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
