the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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