you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
