We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
