Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
