I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
