just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
