Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
