C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
