I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
