Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
