After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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