Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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